The Malicious Hiccup

The Evil Hiccups

an MJ POV Short Story

Hiccup, they are my arch nemesis. It is the most vial creatures, if it is even a creature (it has to be), that infect the body. How or why you ask? Well, I'll tell you. When I am sitting peacefully in my Mom-a-Rue, minding my own business without a care in the world, Hiccup comes in and disturbs the peace like a teenager blasting their car stereo.

No one, not even me, knows why it comes or what it wants. Hiccup strikes everyone without warning and comes and goes as it pleases. It makes my whole body shake. I make a noise that is ungodly and sometimes I pee if Hiccup is too strong.

Without fail, when the evil Hiccup lasts too long, I cry :(

It's so uncomfortable.

One day I got Hiccup when my parents brought me to their favorite restaurant, the Horseshoe, to get nachos. Well, I was committed to have a good night and I wouldn't let hiccups get in the way. After all, I had a full belly, I was snoozing because of the ambient noise in my car ride. That's what I'd call bliss for any 3.5 week old like myself.

BAM!!!

Just like that, one hiccup.

Another hiccup.

Another hiccup....I am sure you can see where this is going. Hiccup crashed the party like an ex- invited by your best friend who still thinks she's in the circle!

I decided that I would just suck it up and deal with it. My parents deserve a night out, right? Even if they decide to bring Jackie and I. They still should be able to go out and enjoy a nice night out with the whole fam-bam Hiccup with ruining the night.

Anyways, I was just hanging out in my car seat and I tried to keep the evil Hiccup in. No one had ever explained what would happen if I did. Well I'll tell you what happens in case you want to try it on your own (I don't advise you trying what I did). Whatever you've last ate (in my case, what I drank) will come back up. Yup, all my dinner came out and all over my onesie. I was soaked to the bone like an anchor a sea.

Now my mom is well versed in dealing with hiccups (pun fully intended), they are nothing but small roadblocks. Mommy did her best to clean me up in the restroom but I just couldn't get comfy again. That evil Hiccup just wouldn't leave me be. I kept hiccuping and hiccuping. I just couldn't get comfortable although I got passed around the table like a peace pipe at a pow wow. So, I cried.

The moment we left the restaurant, Hiccup too off. And just like that, I stopped hiccuping and went to sleep. I actually slept really well because I was so tired.

One day evil Hiccup, I will defeat you. I don't know when, I don't know the place but mark my words. I. Will. Defeat. You. Just you wait and see.

¹hiccup

noun hic·cup \ˈhi-(ˌ)kəp\

: a sound in your throat that is caused by a sudden, uncontrolled movement of muscles in your chest after you have eaten or drunk too much or too quickly
hiccups : a condition in which you make hiccups repeatedly

: a small problem, change, or delay

Full Definition of HICCUP

1

:  a spasmodic inhalation with closure of the glottis accompanied by a peculiar sound 

2

:  an attack of hiccuping —usually used in plural but singular or plural in construction

3

a :  a slight irregularity, error, or malfunction <a few hiccups in the computer system>

b :  a usually minor and short-lived interruption or disruption, or change <a hiccup in the stock market>

"hiccup," Merriam-Webster Dictionary, 2015, http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hiccup