New England Aquarium

June 12, 2016

One of my favorite places in Boston is the New England Aquarium. Ever since I was a kid I have really enjoyed going there. The incredible coral reef that has a ramp designed like a parking garage, the chance to pet butterfly rays, and crazy rock hopping penguins are all good reasons worth spending some time in the aquarium. 

A few weeks ago we had a chance to visit the New England Aquarium. MJ loved seeing the fish in the tank. Jackie on the other hand really loved going "up," the ramp. 

Check out the video of our trip to the aquarium. We all had a blast together.

Stone Zoo

May 14th

The Stone Zoo is a great place to bring kids. Partly because all the animals are happy hanging out with each other. Each exhibit is placed just far enough to walk without getting tired but spaced far enough to keep from feeling claustrophobic. Maybe the main reason the Stone Zoo is such a good time is that the zoo is a few miles away.

Nonetheless, let's take some time to look back at that experience.

Pink Frosted Donut

Having an older sibling is tough. Older siblings take younger siblings toys, they assume younger siblings always want their leftovers, and older siblings usually get their own way. This is completely relatable to MJ and her big brother Jackie.

A few weeks ago the Bruff family was going to visit grandma and grandpa in Connecticut. Naturally Kimmy and I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts before we made the 2 hour trek to Bloomfield. Kim got her usual iced coffee but we weren't able to get Jackie his usual "special, special" of chocolate munchkins. Instead we got Jackie a strawberry frosted donut. MJ and I split a bagel as we bounced down the highway.

Shortly after we got on the highway, Jackie yelled across the car to MJ, "Here you go, MJ. You can have some."

Naturally, Kim and I were happy to hear that Jackie was sharing. We praised him for thinking about his little sister. She was stuck eating an everything bagel while he was eating a delicious strawberry frosted donut loading with sprinkles. Kim turned around to help Jackie pass his donut from one car seat to the other.

Although I don't have a picture to show what Jackie passed to her, it won't be hard to paint the picture clearly. Imagine a 2 year old ate all of the pink frosting off and left behind drool and plain donut behind.

Leftovers to a second child is pretty much par for the course. MJ, be ready for even more of them.

First Steps

My baby girl can walk. All it took was a trip to grandma and grandpa's house over the memorial day weekend. Fourteen months is just the right amount of time for MJ to figure out how to put one foot in front of the other and stay on balance. Now we've got to transition into a full time walk. 

Enjoy the video!

Happy Birthday

      Precious, your mother's birthday is today. I think now is a great time for you to reflect on all the things you've done up to this point in her life. So far you have learned how to sign "more" and "all done," you've learned to say momma and dada, you can yell at your brother when you want something and you can scale along the side of furniture until you get to a place that you want.

      However, take a look into the life of your "life bringer." I am hoping this brings you some clarity. Just so you know, the theme song to many songs is, " I Wanna Dance with Somebody." That is your mama's favorite song. Apparently, you love the song, too. Every time it comes on, you shake your little rump.

April Vacation

Dearest MJ,

You are wonderful. I know you may think so right now or may not think so depending on what we last said to you. But as of right now, your mother and I think your the bees knees. We just got through with spending all of April vacation with you. Putting you to bed a half hour after your bedtime, allowing you to sleep in, and snuggling when you wake up in the middle of the night are few things we are able to do during the break.

We did so much more. There aren't enough words to write about all the fun we had. Check out some of the highlights from the April vacation Kim and I shared with you.

Uncle Tommy sighting!

The Olympics are coming up.

Thunder Thighs!

Friends from New Hampshire came to visit.

Sandbox fun on the deck.

Months apart, yet so close!

Castle Island with Dada's friends.

Someone is tired

Aren't slides fun?

Sleeping and doing yoga.

  

I can feed myself.

Scaling

Call me Spiderman! I can scale the walls like the best of them. Peter Parker ain't got nothing on MJ (you see that pun there? Peter Parker's neighbor is Mary Jane, MJ, like my dearest MJ.). Nonetheless, she is a scaling machine, a ready to push off and take on the world, she's a batch of confidence away from walking. Get excited.

No one is rushing you, as grandma always says. Your legs seem a little useless, is what your mom and dad say. We love you no matter what MJ. You seem like you would like to walk but something is holding you back. Maybe it is the fact that everyone is so happy to pick you up. Or better yet, it could be because your brother is so happy to get things for you. For some reason, I think it is because you are just being yourself. When you are good and ready, you'll blow everyone out of the water like there was a shark sighting. 

My dearest MJ when she decides to walk.

Spend the Night

Grandma and Grandpa spent the night in Massachusetts. Lucky MJ and Jackie! When the grandparents come to play, all rules go away. Isn't that how the saying goes. Checkout the fun grandma had with Jackie, check out the new accomplishments from my dearest MJ. She can do this all on her own, and she only wanted to show off because grandma was just around the corner.

Thank you so much to grandma and grandpa for being able to come up and spend the night with MJ and Jackie. They enjoyed it a ton, Kim and I enjoyed having you both up here, and we all cannot wait for you to come back to spend more time with us! Come back soon!

Pirate's Booty

This last blog post has been a long time coming, but it has finally come. Not because I didn't know what to write about, or because I didn't have any time, or there was nothing new and exciting to write about, but because of a combination of everything previously listed. 

Thinking back to when Kim was pregnant with MJ, the doctors would say, "This is a boring pregnancy. And this is a really good pregnancy." Right now, this has been a boring 13th month. That's been really good for Kimmy and I.

With all that being said, there have been If you'd a number of things to happen with MJ this past month: she spent the night with Grandma and Grandpa, learned how to scale and move about the cabinets, MJ now says down and truly means it, MJ also enjoys hugging the dog and giving Tank affection, but most importantly, when given the chance to eat Pirate's Booty it always goes down the hatch as easy as a firefighter sliding down a pole.

Now, lets talk about Pirate's Booty.

Pirate's Booty, aged white cheddar cheese popcorn bliss in a bag for women and children alike. 

Just a few weeks ago, MJ was asleep in her crib. Or at least I thought she was. Jackie and I were hanging out in the living room watching Super Why! As Jackie had finished chugging his second 8 ounce apple juice container in 2 minutes, he said, "Daddy,  I need some Pirate's Booty."

From down the hall I could hear, "Ahhhh!" coming from deep down the hall from MJ's room.

Snapping my head up towards the sound shrieking coming from down the hallway then looking back down at Jackie I realized something was happening. "What was that Jackie?" I asked.

Not knowing what else to do or say, I said, "Jackie, that's not how you ask for things." Obviously, MJ must be fine. Otherwise she'd keep screaming if there were something wrong. If she were ok, she'd be quiet. Angling my head like a satellite beacon in search of a signal, I heard no sounds coming from the hallway.

Jackie did the puppy eyes, smiled and yelled, "Pirate's Booty please!"

Instantly, "AHHHHHH!" came from down the hall again.

"Pirate's Booty?" I whispered.

"AHHH!"

Just a little louder, "Pirate's Booty!" 

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"I guess MJ is awake, Jackie. Do you want to get your baby sister so she can have some booty?" I asked.

Now most parents may have gone to get their child the first moment they heard a sound that sounded like a horse being yanked by the bit too hard. However, I thought she was supposed to be asleep. But there could be no way she'd know Pirate's Booty based on just the name. Boy, oh boy was I mistaken.

As you can see, MJ will not be denied. Rightfully so. She deserves as much popcornny goodness in the hopper as possible. Some wise words for advice, too much of anything is a bad thing MJ. So, please Precious, take your time with the booty. No double fisting.

1 Years Old, Happy Birthday

Dear MJ,

I never thought I'd be so happy. It sounds a little cheesy I know but I love watching you grow up. You are such a spunky baby. From the way you clap your hands when even the worst of singers begin to sing. I love the way you pout and puff your cheeks out when your face is resting.

Photo by Brenna Melanson Photography

This whole year you've been doing things on your own time. Literally from the first moment you were brought into the world. It began with you being born in the operating room. For what seemed like 5 minutes, we knew the doctors had you in their hands but we couldn't hear anything. My heart began pounding like a boxer on the heavy bag and your mother yelled out, "Why isn't the baby crying, why can't I hear my baby?" And like a prize fighter getting up off the mat and fighting back, you began screaming and kicking. We knew from that moment on knew you would always make us wait for you to do what was necessary.

As your first breaths turned into your first days, your bright eyes cast your inner light right to my heart. You didn't eat for almost 12 hours when you were in the hospital but you used a lot of that time to sleep. The nurses wouldn't have that. Over and over they told us to wake you up and feed you. MJ, you were oblivious to our wishes and you pushed back by keeping your mouth closed and spitting back any fluid that got past your lips. You liked being held in the Dads' Hands position and we began to see that spark in your eyes when music was on in the background.

Photo by Brenna Melanson Photography

As your first days turned into weeks, you continued to show that you knew what you wanted. Refusing to take a bottle for up to 12 hours was expected. Lord knows why we all tried to force a bottle on you when you knew mama was all you needed.In fact, watching people insist they could get you to take a bottle brought me back to thinking about your grandpa's (my dad) lesson about other people driving on the road. He used to say, "Make dem gwan (make them go or let them go)." My dad knew you couldn't force people to drive the way you wanted, so do what you are supposed to do and let others go and do whatever they please. True to what your grandpa always says, as you were good and ready to eat, you ate and ate and ate.

As your weeks turned into months you began sleeping with Zeebie for hours and hours. Your mother and I knew that you were special. The way your brother, Jackie, would make you smile, we knew you'd always love being entertained. You could watch Jackie run back and forth through the house for hours. As he began to slow down, you'd begin clapping and making noises of appreciation and your brother would get a second wind.

---

Over these long 12 months, I've seen so many things that would make me a proud father but I really want to focus on just one. During the winter I was coaching basketball and I didn't really have much time to spend you. I made it a point to wake up early to be sure I could dress you. That way, the two of us could play each morning before the day got away from us. After all, I usually wouldn't see you awake until the next morning. So I had to make the best of the situation.

As the winter basketball season wore on I had also begun to get worn out with the long hours. What was really wearing me down (outside of the long hours) was not being able to spend time with you and your brother. I missed seeing you at the end of every day. I missed hearing you laugh. It hurt to hear about all the things you were doing for the first time and I wouldn't be able to see it until much, much later.

Just as the season was grinding me down to my most brittle point, you began waking up at 2am. I began waking up with you. After leaving you with your mother every day for the past 6 weeks, I didn't want to over burden your mother by waking up and tend to you. So you began to drink a bottle while I rocked you back to sleep. Meanwhile I slept on my feet from being overtired.

That all changed one night. You had woken up two times before our usual 2am standing bottle drinking time. Your mother had woken up and tended to you the previous two times. I had been so tired that I hadn't even heard you. But your mother couldn't stay up with you again so I got pushed out of bed.

Walking into your room I have to admit I was praying to every deity I'd ever heard of that you'd go back to sleep. The Greek god Morpheus let me down and I knew reaching into your crib that I had been wasting my prayers. I should have been praying for patience.

Looking down into your crib I saw the remnats of Hurricane Michaela. You had thrown Zeebie to the wayside, you had been pulling your hair so you looked as if you'd been electrocuted, and you had tears streaming down your face. I couldn't help but smile. You still looked so precious.

As I grabbed you from your crib, you smiled right at me. I wasn't sure what that was all about. But then, with your little hands, you grabbed both of my ears and pulled my face close to yours. I was surprised because I'd never seen you do that.

You opened your mouth and sucked on my nose. I laughed loud from deep down enough to make the dog check for intruders throughout the house. Pushing my face away from yours, you tilted your head back and let out a high pitched scream while bouncing your shoulders up and down.

Finally you looked at me. With a a little smirk on your face I read into what you wanted to say out loud if only you could speak, "Did you like that? Do it again dada!" Sleep and fatigue rolled off me like a barrel over a waterfall. I cackled again like a villain in the midst of taking over the world.

Just when I thought you were going to let me laugh by myself you answered with call of your own. It didn't take long for us to wake the rest of the house with our cackling.

Looking back at the night I realize that you knew what I needed, a delightful surprise. I love you for that. You know your dad so well and I hope you always continue surprise and inspire.

---

You were born at 1:52pm on March 20, 2015. MJ, you came when you were good and ready. Not a moment too soon or a second too late. Continue to show us all that you know exactly what to do and when you need to do it. I can't wait to see all that you accomplish. You will have trials that test you. At times you'll want to give up. But I want you to realize you've already shown that you just need to trust yourself. Precious, make dem gwon. Do things when you're good ready.

Happy birthday precious. 

MJ Turns One

Luckiest Man Alive

I am the luckiest man alive. Kim is the best mother. When it comes to her children, there is nothing that she wouldn't do. Including planning her daughter's first birthday in the midst of the basketball season when her husband is often out of the house. 

I am the luckiest man alive because I've got great siblings who traveled far and wide to spend time with their niece. Whether it is making the flight from Puerto Rico or driving back and forth from Philly to take part in the events of a one year old birthday party. I am the luckiest man alive because I've got parents who make the one hundred mile journey to spend precious moments with their precious granddaughter. 

I'm the luckiest man alive. My in-laws have done more than I can give credit for and have always been there when Kim and I need them most. I am the luckiest man alive because my wife's siblings have made an effort to build relationships that go deeper than being called aunt and uncle.

I am the luckiest man alive because the friends we have. They aren't friends, they are as close as family. They have been there as soundboards to listen in on the frustrating times, scaffolds by helping out when we go on adventures, and they've even been babysitters when they want us to get out.

The saying, "It takes a village to raise a child," is widely known. Yet it is completely understated. It takes a the love of those around you to raise a child. And MJ is lucky to have the love and support of so many people.

Thank you so much for always being there for her, my family and myself.

Pictures from Michaela's first birthday party.

First Day at Daycare

The night before my precious MJ went to daycare for the first time, I should have felt good, relaxed and prepared, but I wasn't. I was as nervous as a germaphobe at a buffet. If I didn't have to go to work I would have turned around and brought her home to hang out with me for the day. 

As I am writing this, I feel that I am the parent I shake my head at. Hovering and thinking their kid is different than everyone else's. For some reason, I think all parents have one thing in common. They all think their child isn't common. I am no different. 

My precious wouldn't take a bottle from anyone. She'd already gone over 12 hours without eating because she was waiting for her mother. She had been around very capable people. Each one of those people tried their different tricks to get her interested in drinking from a bottle. Lots and lots of people had tried. I had tried multiple times when Kim would go out to run errands or go play hockey. Both sets of grandparents had tried to no avail. Her pediatrician said that she was a, "Smart girl. She knows what she wants." 

Sending her to daycare without taking a bottle just seemed like we were setting her up for failure. There was nothing I could do about the bottle. I'd tried before and that issue was out of my control. I knew what needed to be done deep inside. Just drop her off and make the quick dash out the door. Besides, Jackie was dying to get inside and see his friends who he had missed since spending time with his parents all summer. 

As I walked to the door I once again began to think about all the things that could go wrong: MJ crying and crying because she was hungry, MJ not being happy about not seeing her mother and I now that we had to go to work, and not having enough attention because there will be other kids to pay attention to. 

At the moment I hesitated, I knew it was all in my head. MJ would be fine. It would be fine for me to think about her. It would be fine for me to wonder if she were missing me. It would be fine if MJ experienced some hardship because she wouldn't take a bottle. 

As I got back into the car and told Kim all about my concerns and wild thoughts she said, "If I knew you'd be this worked up, I would have dropped the kids off." At that moment I knew I needed to just let go. Inside my head I knew if Kim had dropped the kids off I would not of have been so concerned. I would have known the kids were going to daycare and they would be taken care of. Reading in between the lines of what Kim was saying, I decided to man up and deal with my precious being with someone other than her mother. 

At the end of the day I charged out of work and down the highway to see my precious. She had all her fingers and toes, she was still breathing and survived her first day in daycare. And to no one's surprise, she didn't take a bottle! 

Looking back at the day 5 months ago I've come to realize a number of things. Most of the feelings I have experienced as a parent are worth considering. Sending my daughter to the child care provider we decided was safe and trust worthy means I should be able to be at ease. I also learned that the feelings of uneasiness will always be there. I just need to be the parent that isn't defined by their uncertainty. 

Most importantly it is a good thing I've got a great partner in Kim. Every parent needs someone to turn to when they have concerns, questions and indecision. Everyone needs someone who can politely say, "Grow a pair."

11 Months

MJ  is eleven months old, do the happy dance!!

Top 10 Accomplishments this month:

  
1. She is beginning to pull herself up. 
2. Prefers eating well cut fruit over the baby food paste.
3. Met some of dada's longtime friends.
4. Went to birthday party (MJ is so popular).
5. Can stand against an object for at least 10 minutes.
6. Prefers to reach and grab things with her right hand. 
7. Enjoys manipulating toys and is experimenting with sound and banging toys.
8. Mimicking words but is only getting out sounds.
9. Learned to say mama and dada.
10. Meet and hung out with great-grandpa.

Planning the Big One

Planning for the precious's birthday has been quite a trip. With scheduling dates that will work for lots of people who live in lots of different parts of the country, it had been quite a monumental task for Kimmy. Like always, there is one person who has one event that was scheduled so long ago that can't be moved. If it isn't that, then someone else has a new conflict come up that can not be rescheduled. 

But the planning stage for MJ's birthday is much like the pregnancy. Lots of planning, lots of waiting, more planning, uncertainty and a bunch of joy at the end.

So far our guests will be traveling from Puerto Rico, Maine, New Hampshire, Connecticut, and Pennsylvania. Getting all of those people to leave the same date open, travel to the destination, and have a great time together is going to be all worth it in the long run. At the baptism, we had such a good time that we knew we'd have to have everyone together again.

This first birthday will be one for the record books. After all, MJ will only turn one once. Plus, the people who care so much about her are going to all be in one room. From godparents to grandparents, to aunts & uncles, and cousins & friends, everyone who will be in attendance is a loved one sharing their love with us. And that is a special thing.

10 months

MJ  is ten months old, let's celebrate!!

Top 10 Accomplishments this month:

  
1. 1 more tooth on top is poking through.
2. Does an excellent job feeding herself.
3. Gets Jackie's attention by grunting at him.
4. Has been Ferberized, so she is a pleasant sleeper.
5. Visited the chiropractor.
6. Has less fluid in her ears so she passed her hearing test!
7. Has become picky about the toys she plays with, unless they are Jackie's trains.
8. Can blow kisses to say goodbye.
9. Began reaching for toys to begin her "crawling" phase of development.
10. Has become a nosey Nancy when we go out to eat.

 

Post Midnight Bonding

Dearest MJ,

You and I have had so many chances of the past 3 months to bond. With all sessions waking up at 2 am, really gotten to know each other well. I've learned that you like your bottle to be held tilted just a little bit to the right. It's as if you want to be able to look me directly in the eyes as you take your bottle.

Your little coos and ooo's have made me smile from ear to ear. I've even found myself looking forward to our 2 am bonding time together when everyone in England is awake and taking their morning tea and people in Las Vegas are just getting the party started. Meanwhile everyone in the states is fast asleep in the midst of their R.E.M. or just simply enjoying the rest and relaxation the earned from a hard day of work.

You've even become quite adept at scratching my face when I am not looking at you. You can tell when I am looking away at the computer or reading on my Kindle. Something about not making eye contact with gets under your skin. But, this time together in the middle of the night has come to an end. 

You have been Ferberized! 

Ferberized!

Yes, my dear, you have been trained to cry it out. Not because I don't love you, but because I need to sleep. Your poor mother needs to sleep. And Tank needs to sleep too! 

So that you know, since you've been Ferberized, you've been quite pleasant. You get to sleep within minutes of being put into your crib. You rarely cry and you sleep for a long time. One of the best things about you during the night is that when you wake up with a cough or sniffle, you go right back to sleep on your own. That means your mother and I don't actually have to wake up with you and rock you back to sleep. Sometimes rocking you back to sleep took minutes. Other times it took hours...which led to sleep depravation. Now you're capable of doing things on your own. 

What a big girl!