The Antidote

Gripe Water

an MJ POV Short Story

 

A couple of days ago I thought my mother was trying to poison me. I've been listening to my doctor, Dr. Asch, and he's said that people like me (babies) are not to drink water. So when my mother heard from a woman at work that she should give me Gripe Water, I thought she had enough of me announcing my displeasure for 4 hours at a time for three days in a row.

 

Boy, was I wrong!

 

I'll give you the play by play to paint clear picture. The soothing dribble of liquid goodness goes down my esophagus and into my belly. The tension of knots pulled tight in my tummy is slowly uncoiled, the foamy bubbles on my lips dissolve, and the evil, malicious, repulsive, and obscene Hiccup has been dissipated.

 

With just one single dose of the antidote, I turn into Popeye when he eats his spinach. I feel like water rushing through the hole of a broken dam. I feel like a butterfly breaking out of a cocoon. No, better yet, I feel relief, plain and simple.

 

The Gripe Water has put my nemesis Hiccup on the defensive. Now that I think about it, where are you now tough guy? Huh? I told you I would defeat you. Are you scared of a little water? I've got your number "big" guy. You once were a roadblock, a fly in the room when I try to go to bed, an itch that moves up my back that I can't seem to reach. Now you're nothing more than what my dad would call "water under a bridge," whatever that means. I've never seen a bridge but I can imagine the bridge beats down the water like the water has beaten you down Hiccup. You see what I did there?

 

If the rest of my life will be like the past eighth of my life (one week) has been, it'll be smooth sailing. I can picture it now. Lying on the floor, looking up at the flashing lights of my Forest Kiddie Mat. I kick furiously at the furry creature everyone calls Tank. Those are just a few things I could get used to doing. I might even take up screaming at the top of my lungs, just because. After all, the barbarian who pokes at my eyes and head butts me likes to yell  whatever comes to his mind. So I'll just take a page from his book and scream whenever I feel like it.

 

You know, I should think about living a more active lifestyle, too. Like picking my head up from time to time. I could get real crazy and decide to become a gymnast. Maybe attempt to roll over from my back to my belly or vice a versa. All this speculation is wearing me out. But before I get too far ahead of myself, I've got to enjoy this moment. I need to live in the present. It's time to sit back and smell the roses. They smell like...

 

Gripe Water.

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    

Gripe water is a liquid given to infants with colic, gastrointestinal discomfort, teething pain, reflux ad other stomach ailments. Its ingredients vary, and may include alcohol, a bicarbonate, ginger, dill, fennel and chamomile. It is typically given to an infant with a dropper in liquid form. Adults may also take gripe water for soothing intestinal pains, gas or other stomach ailments. There is no clinical evidence for the effectiveness of gripe water.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gripe_water

 

The Malicious Hiccup

The Evil Hiccups

an MJ POV Short Story

Hiccup, they are my arch nemesis. It is the most vial creatures, if it is even a creature (it has to be), that infect the body. How or why you ask? Well, I'll tell you. When I am sitting peacefully in my Mom-a-Rue, minding my own business without a care in the world, Hiccup comes in and disturbs the peace like a teenager blasting their car stereo.

No one, not even me, knows why it comes or what it wants. Hiccup strikes everyone without warning and comes and goes as it pleases. It makes my whole body shake. I make a noise that is ungodly and sometimes I pee if Hiccup is too strong.

Without fail, when the evil Hiccup lasts too long, I cry :(

It's so uncomfortable.

One day I got Hiccup when my parents brought me to their favorite restaurant, the Horseshoe, to get nachos. Well, I was committed to have a good night and I wouldn't let hiccups get in the way. After all, I had a full belly, I was snoozing because of the ambient noise in my car ride. That's what I'd call bliss for any 3.5 week old like myself.

BAM!!!

Just like that, one hiccup.

Another hiccup.

Another hiccup....I am sure you can see where this is going. Hiccup crashed the party like an ex- invited by your best friend who still thinks she's in the circle!

I decided that I would just suck it up and deal with it. My parents deserve a night out, right? Even if they decide to bring Jackie and I. They still should be able to go out and enjoy a nice night out with the whole fam-bam Hiccup with ruining the night.

Anyways, I was just hanging out in my car seat and I tried to keep the evil Hiccup in. No one had ever explained what would happen if I did. Well I'll tell you what happens in case you want to try it on your own (I don't advise you trying what I did). Whatever you've last ate (in my case, what I drank) will come back up. Yup, all my dinner came out and all over my onesie. I was soaked to the bone like an anchor a sea.

Now my mom is well versed in dealing with hiccups (pun fully intended), they are nothing but small roadblocks. Mommy did her best to clean me up in the restroom but I just couldn't get comfy again. That evil Hiccup just wouldn't leave me be. I kept hiccuping and hiccuping. I just couldn't get comfortable although I got passed around the table like a peace pipe at a pow wow. So, I cried.

The moment we left the restaurant, Hiccup too off. And just like that, I stopped hiccuping and went to sleep. I actually slept really well because I was so tired.

One day evil Hiccup, I will defeat you. I don't know when, I don't know the place but mark my words. I. Will. Defeat. You. Just you wait and see.

¹hiccup

noun hic·cup \ˈhi-(ˌ)kəp\

: a sound in your throat that is caused by a sudden, uncontrolled movement of muscles in your chest after you have eaten or drunk too much or too quickly
hiccups : a condition in which you make hiccups repeatedly

: a small problem, change, or delay

Full Definition of HICCUP

1

:  a spasmodic inhalation with closure of the glottis accompanied by a peculiar sound 

2

:  an attack of hiccuping —usually used in plural but singular or plural in construction

3

a :  a slight irregularity, error, or malfunction <a few hiccups in the computer system>

b :  a usually minor and short-lived interruption or disruption, or change <a hiccup in the stock market>

"hiccup," Merriam-Webster Dictionary, 2015, http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hiccup