This blog is for MJ but it's also for me too. We both get a lot out of the blog. I get to share my thoughts about my only daughter and the sometimes the hilarious things she does. I also get to look back on all that she has accomplished and been through. MJ is going to be able to see my insight and chronicle her own development. Hopefully she'll realize that I wasn't such an over bearing parent who felt the desire to chronicle everything about her and never had a chance to relax without worrying about her well being. May 2nd was one such day I took an evening to let go and let someone besides her mother and I worry about MJ's well being.
Both kiddos spent a night without both of their wonderful, loving, insert your own adjective to describe Kim & I, incredibly awesome, and humble parents. Yup, that's right, no Jackie
and no MJ. Who would have thought May 2nd would be that day? Not me, but it has special significance.
The night began weeks before with Kim talking to Jackie's godmother. She really wanted to do an over night with Jack before she had knee surgery. What a brave woman. She volunteered to hang with Wacky Jackie and that led GiGi and Poppa Tommy offering to babysit MJ so that Kim and I could go out for dinner. To ensure Kim (mom) and I had some sense of balance in our lives, GiGi and Poppa offered to keep MJ over night so that we could enjoy a whole night together. We'd refused saying, "We couldn't be without our dear MJ. She needs us and we don't want to burden you guys."
Once at the restaurant, obviously, Kim and I used almost all of our time at dinner talking about the two missing from our table. Before you think about getting all sappy, you should know that we enjoyed the time to ourselves. Without having to worry if the knife or fork was too close to the toddler sitting at the table was something the two of us didn't have to think about. Thinking about how long it would take our meal to cook in the kitchen because we needed to get in and out before a meltdown or bottle feed a child was a concern we left at the hostess stand.
Debating if I should order food that could be eaten with one or two hands in case I'd be required to bounce my angel or demon with my off hand was something I didn't account for until it was too late. I didn't realize I could have ordered something that needed both a knife and a fork until I put down my $5 martini.
Finishing the last drop and putting the glass down for the first time in about 10 minutes I realized I had been eating bread with my other hand. I had successfully multitask-ed (if that's even a word) without scarfing down food or keeping an ear/eye/thought on both of my children for what seemed like the first time in decades. That meant I could have ordered food that could be savored. I could even scrape the plate if I so desired. I might even get out of the restaurant without a stain or dirty hand print on my clothes as long as I didn't have a hole on my lip or some kind of accident.
When I relayed that message to Kim, she looked at me and said, "Does that mean you're going to stop eating like a starving caveman and slow down to chew?" I thought about what she said and decided to order another drink instead. Shortly after, we decided to take the Macs up on their offer to watch MJ for the night. After all, MJ was in good hands. She was in the hands of people that had
already raised three kids so it wouldn't be their first rodeo with an
infant.
That's when things went down hill. Now you can get sappy. The decision wasn't an easy choice for me to make. One of my self appointed roles in the house is to put MJ to bed. We've got our routine and it works for the two of us. Kim says goodnight then MJ gets wrapped up like a burrito in her swaddle. I then do Dad's Hands while either watching HGTV or a movie.
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| TLC w/ MJ |
Every now and then we have a concert where I sing my favorite tunes if MJ is too fussy to calm down and go to sleep. I know she's down for the night when the sleep smiles dissipate and my kisses don't make her eyes flutter.
Not wanting to sound like a helicopter parent who hovers for hours on end over my child, it's hard for me to admit that have a hard time putting her down (or letting go) until I know she is sound asleep. I usually test her to see if she's asleep. But would she be okay for the night? Jackie was over a year old before he spent a night without us, are we neglecting MJ? Would Poppa Tommy know how to rock her just right? Would GiGi hear my angel if she woke (I usually don't but Kim does)? What if she's hungry in the night? How long would it take for a bottle to be ready for consumption? Would she be burped correctly? Do they know the right games to play to get a diaper changed without a fight? What if they run out of milk? Would they give her enough kisses? Jackie's godmother got a laundry list of directions but the grandparents who are taking care of MJ didn't. She likes kisses on her chubby cheeks, do her grandparents know that? Will MJ recognize me in the morning after not being the last person she saw at night? What if she's mad because I didn't kiss her goodnight?
What if?
What if?
What if?
It goes without saying, not having MJ for a night was,
interesting.
