Second Child Blues

I used to have the second child blues, or at least I thought I did. For years, I always thought my parents just did what was convenient. You see, with me being a second child it seemed to me that my parents had me wear my brother's hand me downs because the clothes wasn't that worn out, yet. I always seemed to be in trouble because I broke everything. I had to do whatever activity my older brother was doing or had done. And as you could expect, the list goes on and on.

I bring this up because now I have 2 children. MJ has made an appearance and joined the family. Now I can understand my parents’ actions much more clearly. Since she joined our family, I've found myself wanting to hold both of my little ones at the same time. It's almost not fair. For my oldest Jackie, I actually feel bad for him at times. He is the one who is getting his world rocked. To him, he'll no longer get the attention he once received. But to him, MJ now appears to get the attention that he once had.

For example, MJ and I haven't had too many opportunities to take selfies. All she does is sleep and I want a picture of her with her eyes open. However, when she’s ready and I hold her in my arms for a selfie, my Jackie always comes over to see what all the hubbub is about. Then he does something he's been doing since the first time he met MJ in the hospital. Jackie begins to point out every feature on her. "Nose, teeth, head."

As much as I try to encourage my kids to have a good sense of humor, it's nearly impossible for me to have already taught MJ (who happened to be 2 days old at the time) how to block an eye poke. Jackie saw MJ open her eyes. Immediately he said, "eyes." Without hesitating, he reached out and poked her in the eyeball. Naturally, MJ didn't do anything so Jackie did it again.

I obviously tried to stop him but I didn't expect him to poke her in the eyeballs. My mother and father would have said that Jackie was jealous of attention MJ was getting. I don't know if that was the case. My parents feel that way because of the experiences they saw through their own child rearing. Apparently, days after I was born my older brother had some issues with me too.

A long time ago in a town far away, my older brother, Josh, saw me for the first time in the hospital. He responded very differently than Jack to did when he saw MJ. Josh initially climed up to see my mother as she was laying in her hosipital bed. Upon seeing me in my mothers’ hands, he leaped off the bed without a care to where he was jumping. My father was there to catch him, thank goodness, but my parents never tire from telling the story. A short time later, my brother also said that I bit him, too.

Looking back on the stories I've heard about being the second child, I've come to realize that my brother probably didn't expect my mother to have another child with her in the bed so he jumped because he was uncomfortable. I probably bit him because he was trying to figure out where my teeth were. I've only come to realize this since having MJ and seeing the reactions the two have together. Jackie was finally able to label a real live baby and not a doll at daycare.  So unfortunately he poked baby MJ in the eye.

Why didn't I teach MJ this the day she was born?

If there is anyone who has the second child blues, it's not the second child. It is totally the parents if not the first child. When I was busy wearing my brother's hand me downs and ruining them, I'd always hear my parents complain about me messing the clothes up. I now understand that my parents saw the clothes get some wear (with my brother) and now they are getting the tear (with me). It hurt them to not get the same memories from the mementos.

MJ has really given me the second child blues already. Not only do I get sad that I can't care of them at the same time when they are both sick, I also cannot have the same memories with each one of them. It isn't fair to have that expectation to have. Instead, I am looking forward to making new memories and I can't wait to see what will come next. After all, having two children levels the playing field quite a bit, Kim and I are almost out numbered. I guess it's a good thing we run the family like dictators instead of a democracy.